The Importance of Nurturing Creativity

I loved this presentation from Sir Ken Robinson at the TED conference a few years ago about the importance of creativity and his analysis on the way our current education system discourages us/our children from using it as we are generally taught "this must always equal that" and one right (or more right, if its a story problem, I suppose... lol) answer.

While this type of prep and knowledge unquestionably has value, unfortunately by discouraging creativity in schools (and maybe in our homes as well as we focus on our children bringing home those A's and grooming them for professions WE deem valuable), our view of the world and our potential in it, becomes increasingly limited as we lose our ability to see a broader spectrum of options.

After all, that is a large part of what the ability and freedom to be creative is about: seeing options. This ability to see options is a huge advantage when navigating through the adventure of life. I can't tell you how often in dealing with my clients I see their discouragement centered around the inability to identify options other than those they are currently stuck in. Ironically, although innately acquired, creativity and finding options becomes something that we end up having to relearn in our adulthood. How much easier then, we can make it on our children if we protect, foster and nurture their innate sense of creativity.

Sadly, it is becoming more and more apparent that we cannot rely on our school systems to nurture, build and even place the appropriate amount of value on our children's innate ability and need to be creative. Much like the story of Gillian Lynne, it is also OUR lack of creativity and the ability to identify other options as we parent our children that we often get discouraged or wonder what is wrong with them instead of being able to think outside of the box. It is up to us as parents to encourage and nurture creativity in our homes. But how do we do this? And, is it too late to start?

First of all, I am a firm believer that it is never too late to start being more effective. That is a never ending process. So I figure, we add to this process with each new insight we receive. We are always teaching our kids what is most important by the things we do. Much more powerful than the things we say, the things they see us do, where we spend most of our time and place most of our energy, most effectively communicates to them what is REALLY of utmost importance. That being said, the best way then to begin teaching the value of creativity is of course, to be doing these things ourselves.

What does this look like? If you were or ever wanted to be a dancer, start dancing. Take a dance class once a week. If you loved to write, get out a composition book and begin writing even if its just your thoughts to begin with. Or, if you were at one time a painter or you'd like to start now, go pick up a canvas and some paint and get to it! If its been years since you picked up your guitar or sat at the piano, don't let another week go by without sitting down to play. And if you always wanted to play but don't know how, sign up for lessons. You catch my drift. How can we help our children cultivate creativity if we are unwilling to do the same for ourselves?

Another great way to begin encouraging more creativity is to support the creative efforts of others. We should take our children to ballets/dance performances, plays, concerts, art galleries, museums and orchestra performances and talk together about what we noticed, thought and felt while observing these different forms and expression of creativity.

There are also more interactive types of activities that can help place an emphasis on creativity. From a large family finger painting (whether done with paint or colored pudding), to prop type games that encourage players to find alternate uses for each object, or an add on story where parts are created by each person adding upon the last person's contribution. When it comes to nurturing creativity in our homes,these are only a few fun games that can be played where the family can have fun and enjoy being creative together.

I agree that this is in fact one of the most incredible abilities we have as humans and it is far too underemphasized. The ability to be creative is essential in achieving ultimate joy and happiness in our lives. Let us start encouraging this in our children and ourselves as we seek to be better people and parents. The positive effects can be multi-facted and far reaching. How different Gillian Lynn's life would have been if it weren't for one person who was able to see beyond the current options given to be able to explain, "Gillian isn't sick. She's a dancer."

The healing of "Holding Time"

Physical affection and contact is something that everyone needs. It creates a type of closeness and connection that goes beyond what words can do. Occasionally in my practice, I will have a client who was raised in a family where there was no affection expressed at all. Both between husband and wife and from parent to child. This is always so sad to me because I know how essential touch and affection are in conveying closeness, comfort, safety, love and so many other feelings. Because this is so important, I have integrated into my "parenting toolbox" a technique that I learned from my dad years ago that my kids and I call "Holding Time." This technique consists of at least 10 minutes each week where you just hold/hug your kids and nobody talks. It is amazing to me the things that you can feel take place in that 10 minutes. I also found after implementing this that it is not only powerful for my kids but for me.

Most of the time it is just a great little (okay, long) hug with my kids that lets them know they are loved, but sometimes there are the times when you can feel more happening.

I remember one specific situation in which my daughter was having a bit of a rough morning. This carried over into our drive and on our way to school she was whiny and unhappy in the car. I could feel myself starting to get frustrated. We dropped off her brother and still had about 15 minutes before her school started. As we were getting ready to get out of the car and I could hear her still back there having a hard time, and feel myself getting more and more frustrated, I decided to pull an impromptu "Holding Time". I asked her to come up to the front seat of the car with me. When she did, I scooped her up and just held her and said, "It sounds like you're having a frustrating morning. Why don't we take a little break together and do some holding time, okay?" She said okay and without another word, we sat there in the front seat of my SUV, in the school parking lot and I held her close.

In the quietness between us, I felt her little body completely relax, her breathing slow down and her demeanor change. I also felt myself calming and letting go of my previous frustrations. In that moment, it was just her and I and an unspoken communication happening that was creating change. After about 8 minutes I softly said, "I think that is just what we both needed. Think you're ready to head to school now?" To which she replied, "I think so mom. Thanks. I feel a lot better." "Me too", I told her. Its pretty incredible what just 8 minutes of connectedness can do.

It isn't always possible to stop for "Holding Time" when frustrating things are happening. But, sometimes...it is. Either way, setting aside time each week, impromptu or not, to hold our kids and communicate together on this level can go such a long way.

I am grateful to my dad who taught me this and the closeness that it helps to create, even with my 14 yr old son. :0) It really is amazing. Just a few minutes of dedicated affection can go such a long way and can be so instrumental in changing the way we experience our lives. We may not even be aware of the entire range of positive effects. However, when my children grow up and someone asks them how they knew they were loved and cared for, I hope that this will be another way in which I was able to communicate that to them. I highly recommend scheduling it into your week.

"We should make time to talk, dontcha think?": The importance of dates and personal interviews

Like many of you, my week is full of work, kids' activities, errands, household obligations and so much more. In the midst of all of this "life" happening, I have often found myself feeling like I am missing moments of connection, teaching, and really knowing my children. I have a few precious moments that are set aside like nightly tuck ins, and our Saturday morning breakfasts that I love. However, I find that so much can come from one on one time, whether its a special planned activity or just grabbing an ice cream together. I wanted to find a way to take advantage of that and turn it from a great concept that I "really should do sometime", to an active habit.

I remember as a little girl, my parents would occasionally take us on a "date". This was a time that was just for us when there were no other distractions and we were able to talk and enjoy being together. It started off as a regular thing and then became more of an "as needed" type of situation which seemed to work fairly well in my family. I always looked forward to time that I knew was just for me. It is important to me, for several reasons, that my children are able to have similar experiences.

A couple of months ago, I began reinstating the "weekly date", with each of my children. Generally speaking it is always on the same day, at the same time. I will ask each one what they would like to do for their "date" and give them the parameters I would like for them to work within (ie, going to Disneyland this Thursday afternoon is not an option, HOWEVER, here are some things that WOULD work for this week:...) usually they already have an idea of what they would like to do. On occasion, I will have an idea or something planned as well and we go and do whatever it is and get to just be around each other.

As a parent, I find that our dates tend to remind me of how much I not only love my kids, but genuinely LIKE them and enjoy being around them. I find, the more I truly know them, (which in part, can only come through spending time), the more I feel this way. It also allows me to include another aspect of parenting that I feel is important in staying connected: The personal interview. This is basically my opportunity to do "check ins" with my kids. I will ask them about everything that is going on in their lives and how they are feeling. It is my time to ask personal questions and give my undivided attention so that I can assess their needs and what I can be doing better/differently. I love the fact that my kids look forward to this.

My date with my 14 year old is on Thursday afternoon/evenings. He usually likes to pick a place to eat and somewhere to grab dessert (if its not the same place). Last Tuesday he says to me, "So Mom, are you excited about our date this week?" Smiling a bit to myself I said, "Totally Bud, are you?" He said, "Yeah Mom, I'm really looking forward to it." I said, "Really? Which part are you looking forward to the most?" To which he replied, "I just really like that we get to talk, ya know?" I wanted to melt. I look so forward to this time, finding out about his world and connecting with my TEENAGE (ugh! where has the time gone?!) son. I don't know how many more years I will have of him "looking forward" to this. So far, so good...

My 7 year old is a bit different, naturally. With her, we usually end up doing more of an activity type of thing: baking, doing a craft, going to the park, or other activities. I will also talk to her during this time and ask the same type of questions that I do my 14 year old, just in 7 year old format. I am constantly blown away by the feedback I get from this little one. I learn so much from her.

All in all, weekly dates have changed the type of relationship that I have with my kids. There is so much time spent in the structure and "have tos" of life that the "I really like you, want to know what's going on in your life and like to spend time with you" can get easily lost in the shuffle.

So, whether it is a weekly date with each of your children, or a monthly date, or whatever frequency works for your family, I can't tell you how much I recommend instilling this as a habit. Its touching to see how much our kids look forward to time with us where we set aside all other distractions (no phones!) and it gets to just be all about them. Its amazing the bond that it creates and helps to solidify. And, just when we thought we knew everything about our kids... we learn something new. AND they are even cooler than we thought... :0)

A little structure goes a long way...

So, ever since I lost the best nanny in the world (namely my sister, Kyla who lived with me for 3 years as my Nanny/housekeeper and best friend) I've been meaning to get a job chart going for the kiddies to help us with some organization and to make things easier on all of us. I had an idea of what I wanted to do and kept changing and adding to it in my mind for so long that I never actually DID it. Which was a bummer because that kinda defeats the whole purpose of putting together a job chart. Did it really need to be that complicated? Well, no....and, yes. lol

I wanted a job chart, to be sure, but I also wanted to do some kind of a feelings or "how you doin'?" type of aspect as well. So, if they were sad or mad or needed to talk there would be an additional way for them to express that. I had to sit on that for a little while trying to decide what would work best. I didn't want to have multiple charts up. So, using a large dry erase/magnetic board, clear accent gems with clip art and magnets glued on the back, I threw it all onto one gigantic job chart.

Each morning, I line up all the things that need to be done on that specific day. The kids really love moving the little pictures over to "Done" each day. It also keeps me from feeling like I have to stay on them about what they are supposed to be doing. AND...I love that they put their little "feelings faces" up on top of their names. I wondered if they would really use those and they do. Finally implementing this little chart has things running quite smoothly in our household and has made my life easier for sure!

If you don't currently have a system for getting jobs done that does not include constant reminding and maybe even a little yelling on those days when you've just about had it, I highly recommend implementing a job chart system that works for you as soon as possible. Whether it involves a simple posterboard/sticker system or a magnetic board with clipart gems, either way, Job charts=happier kids=happier mom= 2 thumbs up!!

Meals times: Make it work!!

I really feel like there is much to be said for sitting down together as a family during meals. It is such a great time for everyone to download and take a breath together. It may be the one time throughout the day that you get to sit down and look at the members of your family in the eye, take a moment to take them in and say "Hi! How was your day and how are you doing?"

Additionally, as a mother there is also something extremely satisfying to me about cooking a great tasting, healthy meal for my babies. I love to sit down with them and look at them both, ask about their day and just "be" with them. Unfortunately/fortunately, because I have to/am able to work the majority of weeknights, I am so sad to miss this with them and am often seeing them for the first time since the morning send off, as I am squeezing in as much time possible during bedtime tuck ins.

Because of the connection that meal time can bring, I do feel like it is a time that should not only be promoted but protected. This is difficult for me as having several clients who can only meet in the evening, changing my schedule is not an option. Maybe that's my lack of faith....I don't know. I know one incredible woman whose family always has dinner together every evening at 5:30 on the dot. They have even moved sports teams to accommodate their family dinner time! While some may think this extreme, she feels not having this time together as a family is not an option for them. She has said, "I will move whatever I need to move around so we can have dinner together. Its that important to me." I so admire this mom and her determination to keep her family connected. Unfortunately, as a single working mom, this is not an option for me....

I struggled with this and thought, "there has to be a way that I can make this principle work better in our little family." While I am home quite a few nights, and am able to prepare and partake in the majority of their meals (no phones, books, or any distractions allowed) it isn't as often as I would like. I wanted more time to connect, also something that they will look back and remember that we always did "X". So here is how, in the words of Project Runway's Tim Gunn, I "Make it work!"...

A love of music and dancing is HUGE in our family. I pretty much have music wherever I go and I am notorious for dancing around the house while I am doing whatever, cooking, making my bed, etc. My kids will often join in this with me and we can all have some fun and let loose together. Saturday mornings also happen to be a time when we are always together. So, for quite a while now, we have been having our Saturday morning Pancake Breakfast Dance Party!! I feature different pancakes each week. At the beginning of the week, I will post that week's "special" along with the musical theme. My 14 year old creates the playlist for us. We all dance and cook and then sit down to enjoy our pancakes together. I love this time with them!!! They get excited to see what this week's feature will be. The last two weeks have included 80s Alternative Blueberry Oatmeal Pancakes and Disco Pineapple Pumpkin, Pecan Pancakes (these are my new favorite!)

My point to all of this lengthy rambling?? There are always things that we wish we had more time, resources, etc for. I have found that the less I stop wishing I had more of whatever or I could do more of whatever, and find an angle to satisfy whatever need I am wanting to fill or purpose I am wanting to obtain (in this case, creating memories and moments of closeness with my kids) with what I DO have and what I CAN do, it works just fabulously! So, take a little inventory of what you DO have available and what you CAN offer and "Make it work!" (and... if you can be stylish at the same time, BONUS!!) ;0)

Night Time Tears and the Case of the "Horrible Hula Hooper"

Each night when I tuck my kids into bed, we do a best and worst of the day. Sometimes I will switch it up with "something that made you laugh really hard and something that made you feel sad." I can't remember how long I've been doing this or where I even got it from. Chances are pretty high that it might have come as an idea from my BF Kelly during one of our "mommy downloads." She always has some gem to add to my thoughts, mommy concerns and the like. (shout out) Anyway, back to the story at hand!

Tonight as I was tucking my 7 year old in, she said she had something to tell me and she started to tear up. I asked her what was going on and she whispered something inaudible in my ear obviously fighting back the urge to burst into tears. Seeing how affected she was by whatever this was, I was beginning to prepare myself for the worst. Did she get in a fight? Was someone "inappropriate" with her? Did she get a bad grade or maybe she's having a hard time understanding something at school? Is she feeling sick??!! As my concern started to mount, I said, "I am sorry Sweety, I need you to say it out loud because I can't hear you." Then bursting into tears she manages to get out "Brandon, said a VERY mean thing to me today" I said "Oh no, really? I can see you're really upset about it. What did he say?" In a whisper/cry, I get, "He said.....(sob, sob) he said.....that I was a REALLY BAD HULA HOOPER!!!" (full on tears...) Serious?...Part of me wanted to laugh, part of me wanted to say "And THAT'S why you're so upset?", and part of me wanted to say to her, "And did you tell Brandon, 'Dude what are you talking to me for, you're in second grade and YOU CAN'T EVEN READ!!!' LOL But THAT would have been petty....and probably NOT the most mature or best example but I'm not gonna lie ya'll, I totally had the thought!

Mentally pausing here....I'm going through all of the things that I want to seize in this "teaching moment" Hmmmm....what are they....and where do I want to go first? My thoughts:

#1 There may be some truth to what Brandon is saying, she may in fact BE a 'really bad hula hooper', lol, and I want her to be able to look at that and know that it is not something that has to crush her identity, okay-ness, and ability to belong

#2 There will always be someone who is going to be better than you at something or another at any given time in your life and that is okay. It doesn't need to mean anything about who you are and what you have to offer (in our society this is not stressed enough and in fact inversely reinforced to have "okay-ness" directly related to performance which builds EGO esteem NOT SELF esteem)

#3 It is important to be able to recognize, be happy for and celebrate others' skills and abilities instead of being jealous or feeling less than.

#4 Some of these situations are temporary and can be changed. If there is something that you would like to do or be better at, instead of getting discouraged, come up with a plan of action that will help change the way that you feel about and or experience that thing

#5 Sometimes people say and do mean things that hurt our feelings for whatever reason. I want her to have response options....

Okay so these 5 concepts are swimming around in my head and I want to stress each of them while also giving her some comfort, validation and encouragement that we all need from our moms. (its late and I'm coming off of a 10 hour straight day, I'm exhausted and starting to lose steam....)let's end the day with a bang....Here goes....

Trying not to mess up this moment too much, I say, "So why did that bother you so much? She says, "Because he said I was a really bad hula hooper!!!" (nice start mom, geeez....trying to get back on track..)
"Right, so it hurt your feelings?"
"Yes!"
"Yeah, I can see how that would. Were you embarrassed a little bit too, maybe?"
"Yes, mom I was because Akaisha can hula hoop on her legs and her arms and her hips!!"
I said, "that's AWESOME! Good for Akaisha!" "So, do YOU think you're a 'really bad hula hooper?'
"Well, I'm not as good as Akaisha!"
"And that hurts your feelings?"
"YES!"
"Yeah, I can understand that. Sometimes its hard to see someone doing something really well that you wish you could do well, huh?"
(little tears streaming...) "yes...."
"So, what would you like to do about this?"
"I don't know..."
"Hmmmm, well lets think about it. Do you think its okay for Akaisha to be better at hula hooping than you are right now?"
"Yeah, I guess so but I wish I was that good."
"Yeah, I get that. I wish I was a better singer but when I sing it mostly sounds like this: SQUWAAAAAAK!!!! (we are both laughing) and, Uncle Brendon and pretty much everyone in our family will always be a better singer than me. lol! But that's okay because there are things that I can do and the way that I love and care for people that make me cool cuz I'm just me."

"And there are amazing things about you that make you special and unique and amazing just because of who you choose to be ( I list off a few personality traits of hers that I especially love and admire about her) and I think that's way cool! (mom smile)" "It sounds like Akaisha really likes to hula hoop. I bet she probably does it a lot. Do you think she's had a lot of practice?"
"Yeah, I think so. She hula hoops a lot."
"That makes sense. That's awesome that she's practiced a lot and has gotten that good, dontcha think? I bet she feels really good. I'm happy for her that she can do lots of stuff with the hula hoop and likes it so much!"
"Yeah, I wish I could."
"So, why can't you? Do you like to hula hoop?"
"Yes!"
"Very cool! Then if its something that you really like and you have fun doing it, let's do some more of it. Whadda ya think?"
"Would you do it with me? Like can we do it together?"
"Uh, totally!"
"Okay." (little smile)
(thinking to myself okay, at least the tears are gone. This is not too bad. I'm sure there are a million other concepts that I've missed....what else?......oh right!) "So, that was pretty rude of Brandon to say that huh?"
"Yes, it was totally rude mom"
"Yeah, my guess is he probably likes you since he is always chasing you and saying things like that to you. But that does not make it okay or feel any better, huh?" (did I really just do, "Boys are sometimes mean when they like you?" true or not, it totally felt trite and NOT helpful. lol oh well...) "Brandon may have some other things going on in his life that we don't know about that he chooses to say things like that" (probably too much for my 7 year old to grab a hold of in this particular moment...) "But no matter why he chose to say that to you, it still doesn't make it okay, does it?"
"No"
"what do you think you can say to Brandon next time he says something like that to you?"
"I don't know Mom, because I don't want to be mean or hurt his feelings back so I just,....I don't know....I say nothing and I want to cry." We talk about why she wants to cry and go over some possible responses:

Say nothing, Walk away, "Akaish is awesome at that, huh?", "Whatever", "That was really rude.", we come up with a few more options and rehearse some of them. I give her a squeeze, tell her how wonderful she is. Completely spent, I head to bed hoping that I didn't screw that up too much and thinking "MAN, my kid is sensitive! But I wouldn't have it any other way." Think I'll stop at Target today and pick up a couple of hula hoops..... :0)

** UPDATE** Today when I picked up "Lil Miss Thang" from school, she informed me "So Mom, I totally told Brandon today that he hurt my feelings!"
Shocked that she actually said something to him I replied, "REALLY??! What did you say? What did he say?"
She told me "Well I just said to him: 'Hey the other day you really hurt my feelings.' and he said 'What? No I didn't!' and I said, 'Yes, you did. When you said I was a really bad hula hooper, that really hurt my feelings.' and he said, 'Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Are you okay?"
I said, "No way!!! Seriously?!"
"Yes mom."
"Wow! That is amazing. I'm actually really surprised that he said sorry. I bet that felt really good to stand up for yourself like that without being rude and to hear him apologize. Were you glad you said something?"
"Yes, totally!"
"Good for you! That takes a lot of guts. You're amazing." (I guess I'm really glad I resisted the urge to encourage her to use the "YOU CAN"T EVEN READ!" response!...and my faith in the next generation is momentarily restored. lol)

Gratitude is where its at!!

This time last year, I was doing a lot of research on Gratitude in preparation for a seminar that I was asked to do. In my studies I came to understand just how incredibly powerful the state of gratitude can be. It is, in fact, the single most powerful emotion in its ability to alter perspective.

Building on this concept and bringing it closer to home, I wanted to set something in motion that would being a constant reminder of the importance of gratitude as well as something that would encourage myself and my kids to keep this as our focus so that we can continue to build on the good things and energy that being grateful creates. So....I decided to put up a huge dry erase board in the office of our home in which we would write random things that we were grateful for as we think of them. I also thought it would be cool and create even more great energy to have all those who enter our home leave us with something that they are grateful for. We are loving it and the kids love to write and read what others have written. It makes us smile every time we look at it and brings such a great feeling to our home. :0) We just started it this week and already, this is what ours looks like:

Nightmares and the "Mom can I sleep in your bed?" dilemma...

So my fabulous 7 year old daughter has, like most kids her age, a VERY active imagination. Add that to the fact that while very emotionally aware, also tends to be just a BIT dramatic (which most of the time I love and can appreciate) except when it comes to bedtime.

On and off over the last year and a half, she has struggled with nightmares. You know, the regular stuff....monsters, sharks, lions...etc. It's hard to watch because I can see how scared she is and I want so bad to fix it. I have spent some time exploring with her what these are about and assessing what's going on with her. I know that there are emotional issues that she may be having: fears, feeling alone, things that she is working out and I can help her with, etc. But sometimes... they just happen.

Her solution is always to sleep in my bed with me. While part of me would love to allow that, knowing that she would feel immediately safer/better, it would also start a habit of that being the answer each night, anticipated nightmare or not.
Additionally, it is important to me that we can come up with ideas together and she learn ways to help herself with this so she doesn't feel quite as helpless. Granted there are occasional nights when she will come into my room in the middle of the night after one of these have occurred and I will let her snuggle in with me without a moment's hesitation. However, I feel a little better knowing those nights are few and that I've tucked her into bed utilizing other options first. Here are a few ideas that we have found work a good amount of the time and, that's good enough for me...



Spray it! "Monster Away" Spray-This was a cute idea from one of her dance teachers "Miss Zetta" it is simply a homemade spray bottle decorated with puffy paints and filled with glittery water (on my sisters suggestion, I also added a bit of soothing lavender oil.) She simply keeps it by her bedside and sprays when she goes to bed and when/if she wakes up in the night.


Favorite Things/Happy Place: Clearly if you are a fan of The Sound of Music this is no foreign concept to you. (Are the hills in fact "alive?" I don't know. I suppose that's a "perspective" issue... but I digress...) If she is feeling afraid when she goes to bed, we will talk about some of her favorite things or places/things/people that make her happy, favorite memories, etc. I will sit by her bed and talk about some of these with her and ask her detailed questions about them until I can see that she has been in that frame of mind for a little bit. Then I will leave her with the assignment of coming up with a list of 10 favorite things that I will ask her about in the morning.



Music: This is her favorite and works like a charm. When music fills the house, the vibe changes and there can be instant comfort. I will either choose a playlist or let her choose one. When I used this when my son was little, I put him to bed with things like Yanni and Enya (which my sister thought was "creepy" ) My daughter prefers "hipper" tunes. The music of choice lately has been Coldplay, Death Cab for Cutie, and Regina Spector, among many other favorites.

Obviously these methods don't ensure that her nightmares will never happen, but they have definitely been very helpful in giving her some coping strategies and solid sleep filled nights. And...on the occasional night that she finds her way into my bed... I am grateful that she is still little enough to want her mommy..... :0)

Mothers of the World Unite

Hello all you bloggers out there! As a single, working mom who has the need for constant inspiration, organization, dedication and determination, (phew, thats a lot of "ations" right there!) and because "life" can sometimes get in the way of all of those things, I wanted to have a means to make things easier and keep myself focused on being the "best version" of myself. I am fortunate to be surrounded by several amazing mothers that inspire me to do and be better.

So, I decided to start this blog as a place of sharing and inspiration for myself and all other mothers out there, single and married alike (or if you have a mom or want to be a mom someday, this is for you too!). This will be a place of inspirational thoughts, parenting ideas, recipes, projects and etc....so let us begin!

An Inspirational Beginning: Devastation and the Determination to do it "Anyway"

The idea that life can sometimes throw us for a loop and blind side us with experiences for growth when we least expect it has always been a concept that I was familiar with. However, when it comes at you full force and everything you thought was real suddenly changes, you can be compelled to revisit this concept and decide what you will do.

I have always held to the notion that you can not control what other people will do but you can ALWAYS control how you act, respond, and who you choose to be. Although it is sometimes tempting to be angry and want to blame I continue to find inspiration and as a result, determination, to be the best version of myself. After all, that is what I am in charge of and what I will always answer for. That being said, one of my favorite presentations of this idea and one that helps me regularly refocus, can be found in this poem inscribed on the wall of Mother Teresa's children's home in Calcutta:

Mother Teresa's "Anyway" Poem

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.



I love that!! Let us go forward today and choose to be the best version of ourselves "anyway", regardless of who others may choose to be.